Love this! What a concept...that we very possibly irritate others ALMOST as much as they irritate us...and we can laugh about this very human phenomenon instead of sulking or distancing. Thanks for the reminder!!
Complex family dynamics??? I need you in my life. I am from marriage #2..First hubby sired 5 half siblings. Their dad was PERFECTION…dying at age 41 leaving Mom pregnant for #5 and no income for the other 4…renting a home, no pension. So Mom lived on Aid to dependent children to keep the family together. 5 years of this minimal substance: enter handsome Marine home to care for his ailing MOM next door….sparks fly as beautiful widow captures handsome Marine and thus they are married..I entered the family 6 months later…Small town America…I arrived wrapped in shame and guilt…adored by My DAD..first (known) child and all! JR arrived 19 months later..Ailing Grandma revived and spoiled us rotten..Dad buys the biggest, fanciest house in town and I am living the dream…spoiled rotten and adore by DAD…annoying little sis to the elder 5…who thinks my DAD is the devil (compared to their daddy saint) Get the picture….We grow up together..There is a major age difference between eldest child 18 years my senior…so older 3 sisters had very little to do with little (spoiled ) princess sister…This was the foundation. Dad died when I was 13…catching the Cinderella vibes yet….Mom was always cold and alooof to me, and I knew was not as pretty, clever or smart as the older 5 siblings….younger brother though was a charmer and womb closer so his place in infamy was secure…Fast ahead. Sister weekends to NYC never included me….Mom did attend the CATS weekend, but I was never “one of the gang” They were all in each others weddings….not me, although I did attend, Clearly, I did not meet their criteria for the family, until they needed a live in baby sitter for summers while they pursued their Masters….cheap labor for the 2 darling neices…oh yea!!! Loved being an Aunt to their kids…never doubted I was loved as their Aunt..Mom aged well, retired and had time, lived close by my 5 kids and LOVED being needed as MEEMAW..She was terrific support and at last, I won some attention having (and losing 4 babies) LIVE DAUGHTERS…She was in our home every week for visits and events of the girls (her name sakes….lots of Ellene joke created…until she aged and eldest sister divorced and needed a landing pad…moved back home to control (protect?) Mom from my abuse….letting Mom fold my laundry, read to her grands, teach us how to bake pies..etc..real abusive relationship at my home with MOM…I was TOLD by Mom that BIGSIS was controlling the money and travel so we saw less and less of MEEMAW…my girls were so sad but life was busy and we did not ask enough questions. ONE DAY I took a call from MOM, saying her home was being sold, earthly goods (my inheritance per Dad’s will) being auctioned and she was moving hours away to a nursing home. All was finalized, I was just being informed..the goods in the home were from MY DAD’s MOM and his life travels 30 years in the Marines. ALL being sold…none coming to me or my bro…Mom was not sick but sisters had cancer and wanted her in a “safe place” as she had 6 months to live…Sister died Mom landed in the nursing home for 8 years..We never saw her but once and it was obvious she did not belong in that drool fest nursing home… Her mind was clear, but she had a bum knee, refused surgery and needed a cane..that was it. She died there 8 years later, far from the grands who adored her and the child (ME) she never really wanted… You can guess that I never saw/spoke to those siblings again…they had stolen EVERYTHING from me…and gleefully controlled our MOM till the end…burying her by their DAD…who eloped with his 17 year old student, taking her across state lines, against her parents wishes…..to marry her…5 babies to follow before dying and leaving her penniless. WHAT a story…My MOM and my life…so no loving sibling stories here…and yes, I was spoiled rotten But Cinderella poor from at 14 on…and not a penny of inheritance thanks to my siblings auction maneuvers. HOW do you make peace with this?? WHAT a mess, I am.
Love this! What a concept...that we very possibly irritate others ALMOST as much as they irritate us...and we can laugh about this very human phenomenon instead of sulking or distancing. Thanks for the reminder!!
This SO good!
Complex family dynamics??? I need you in my life. I am from marriage #2..First hubby sired 5 half siblings. Their dad was PERFECTION…dying at age 41 leaving Mom pregnant for #5 and no income for the other 4…renting a home, no pension. So Mom lived on Aid to dependent children to keep the family together. 5 years of this minimal substance: enter handsome Marine home to care for his ailing MOM next door….sparks fly as beautiful widow captures handsome Marine and thus they are married..I entered the family 6 months later…Small town America…I arrived wrapped in shame and guilt…adored by My DAD..first (known) child and all! JR arrived 19 months later..Ailing Grandma revived and spoiled us rotten..Dad buys the biggest, fanciest house in town and I am living the dream…spoiled rotten and adore by DAD…annoying little sis to the elder 5…who thinks my DAD is the devil (compared to their daddy saint) Get the picture….We grow up together..There is a major age difference between eldest child 18 years my senior…so older 3 sisters had very little to do with little (spoiled ) princess sister…This was the foundation. Dad died when I was 13…catching the Cinderella vibes yet….Mom was always cold and alooof to me, and I knew was not as pretty, clever or smart as the older 5 siblings….younger brother though was a charmer and womb closer so his place in infamy was secure…Fast ahead. Sister weekends to NYC never included me….Mom did attend the CATS weekend, but I was never “one of the gang” They were all in each others weddings….not me, although I did attend, Clearly, I did not meet their criteria for the family, until they needed a live in baby sitter for summers while they pursued their Masters….cheap labor for the 2 darling neices…oh yea!!! Loved being an Aunt to their kids…never doubted I was loved as their Aunt..Mom aged well, retired and had time, lived close by my 5 kids and LOVED being needed as MEEMAW..She was terrific support and at last, I won some attention having (and losing 4 babies) LIVE DAUGHTERS…She was in our home every week for visits and events of the girls (her name sakes….lots of Ellene joke created…until she aged and eldest sister divorced and needed a landing pad…moved back home to control (protect?) Mom from my abuse….letting Mom fold my laundry, read to her grands, teach us how to bake pies..etc..real abusive relationship at my home with MOM…I was TOLD by Mom that BIGSIS was controlling the money and travel so we saw less and less of MEEMAW…my girls were so sad but life was busy and we did not ask enough questions. ONE DAY I took a call from MOM, saying her home was being sold, earthly goods (my inheritance per Dad’s will) being auctioned and she was moving hours away to a nursing home. All was finalized, I was just being informed..the goods in the home were from MY DAD’s MOM and his life travels 30 years in the Marines. ALL being sold…none coming to me or my bro…Mom was not sick but sisters had cancer and wanted her in a “safe place” as she had 6 months to live…Sister died Mom landed in the nursing home for 8 years..We never saw her but once and it was obvious she did not belong in that drool fest nursing home… Her mind was clear, but she had a bum knee, refused surgery and needed a cane..that was it. She died there 8 years later, far from the grands who adored her and the child (ME) she never really wanted… You can guess that I never saw/spoke to those siblings again…they had stolen EVERYTHING from me…and gleefully controlled our MOM till the end…burying her by their DAD…who eloped with his 17 year old student, taking her across state lines, against her parents wishes…..to marry her…5 babies to follow before dying and leaving her penniless. WHAT a story…My MOM and my life…so no loving sibling stories here…and yes, I was spoiled rotten But Cinderella poor from at 14 on…and not a penny of inheritance thanks to my siblings auction maneuvers. HOW do you make peace with this?? WHAT a mess, I am.