Thank you so much for your comments. When I work with estranged siblings, one feeling that is omnipresent is their missing of each other and their desire to make their way past their impasse in order to reconnect.
I am glad you have this new opportunity with your half-sister. I hope you continue to find pleasure and connection in each other's company.
Thank you for sharing your experience of the wheels flying off the car when your parents passed away. Parents seem to hold the center more than we knew, simply by their authority, constancy and our familiarity with the rituals they introduced to the family. (For example, a big holiday gathering with specific components that you come to count on). I was surprised when my father died to see how our family reconfigured after the dust settled.
I am so glad to hear that your much younger 1/2 sister would like a relationship with you. As you say, sibling relationships can run deep and be very precious.
Siblings coming to me for work on their relationships are powerfully drawn to attempt repair. Typically, they miss each other, but can't reconnect until we better understand what pushed them apart. Old family dynamics of arguing. competition, inadequate emotional supplies, poor communication, the silent treatment are some of the culprits that lead to siblings estranging. Often, the bonds are still there, but the understanding is not.
Best wishes for your growing sibling relationship!
I so appreciated this. I have two estranged siblings, and it has been one of the most painful things I've experienced in this life. Just as you described, when my parents passed the wheels flew off the car. My two siblings don't speak to me, and they don't speak to one another. Your reminder that siblings can experience dramatically different realities growing up in the same house/family are very helpful. We are each incredibly different from the other and quite a few years apart. I have no doubt that each of our histories in our household are unique and I can understand how my role in the family would breed resentment. Fortunately I have a third sibling, a much younger half-sister who now wants a relationship with me, and I have welcomed her on whatever terms she is comfortable with. This new relationship with my sister is not the intimate one I long for, and yet, it is still incredibly precious.
Ann,
Thank you so much for your comments. When I work with estranged siblings, one feeling that is omnipresent is their missing of each other and their desire to make their way past their impasse in order to reconnect.
I am glad you have this new opportunity with your half-sister. I hope you continue to find pleasure and connection in each other's company.
Best,
Kathy
Ann,
Thank you for sharing your experience of the wheels flying off the car when your parents passed away. Parents seem to hold the center more than we knew, simply by their authority, constancy and our familiarity with the rituals they introduced to the family. (For example, a big holiday gathering with specific components that you come to count on). I was surprised when my father died to see how our family reconfigured after the dust settled.
I am so glad to hear that your much younger 1/2 sister would like a relationship with you. As you say, sibling relationships can run deep and be very precious.
Siblings coming to me for work on their relationships are powerfully drawn to attempt repair. Typically, they miss each other, but can't reconnect until we better understand what pushed them apart. Old family dynamics of arguing. competition, inadequate emotional supplies, poor communication, the silent treatment are some of the culprits that lead to siblings estranging. Often, the bonds are still there, but the understanding is not.
Best wishes for your growing sibling relationship!
Kathy
I so appreciated this. I have two estranged siblings, and it has been one of the most painful things I've experienced in this life. Just as you described, when my parents passed the wheels flew off the car. My two siblings don't speak to me, and they don't speak to one another. Your reminder that siblings can experience dramatically different realities growing up in the same house/family are very helpful. We are each incredibly different from the other and quite a few years apart. I have no doubt that each of our histories in our household are unique and I can understand how my role in the family would breed resentment. Fortunately I have a third sibling, a much younger half-sister who now wants a relationship with me, and I have welcomed her on whatever terms she is comfortable with. This new relationship with my sister is not the intimate one I long for, and yet, it is still incredibly precious.