Dear Readers,
Our feelings live in both our thoughts and our bodies. When distress takes over, we rarely think our way into calm—we have to help our physiology settle first, and the mind will follow.
I plan to begin sharing one simple somatic practice midweek to help you discover easy, reliable tools to regulate your nervous system.
Here is our first practice.
Seated Grounding (Let the Chair Do the Work)
When we are carrying profound loss, grief, or family rupture, our minds tend to work overtime. We replay conversations, draft unsent letters in our heads, and brace against waves of emotion. Most relaxation advice tells you to “take a deep breath” or “put a hand over your heart,” but when your heart hurts, turning inward toward your chest or stomach can feel overwhelming.
We don’t need to dive into the deep end. We can start with simple, safe practices for centering. You are learning how to calm your body, and, just like learning to swim, it takes time, practice, and trial and error.
Your nervous system responds far better to tangible, physical facts than to positive thinking. One of the simplest ways to help an overtaxed body settle is through simple seated contact. So we will start sitting!
The Practice:
Sit in any sturdy chair and place both feet flat on the floor.
Don’t worry about fixing your posture or changing how you breathe.
Bring your entire attention to the physical contact points: the weight of your thighs on the seat, your back resting against the chair, and the soles of your feet touching the floor.
Pick one sensation—like the firmness under your heels—and just notice it for 30 to 60 seconds.
Why It Works:
When you are on high alert, your muscles unconsciously clench to keep you upright and ready for impact. By tuning into the supportive surfaces beneath you, you give your body permission to stop bracing. You are letting the chair and the floor do the holding. It sends a quiet, direct message to your brain: Right here, in this exact spot, the ground is steady.
Use this video link to help you walk through the exercise:
Please let me know in the comments if you tried this exercise and how it felt—or email me at ksinsheimermft@gmail.com. I would also love to hear about any grounding practices that have worked for you.
Best,
Kathy
Column 1 of this somatic series.