We have been trying different somatic exercises to help slow down our racing nervous systems. It can take awhile to find what’s right for you. Or perhaps to find the right exercise for certain feelings. See if Butterfly Tapping slows you down in a way that helps you re-ground yourself.
The Butterfly Tap: A Gentle Self-Soothing Exercise
When emotional intensity or grief feels overwhelming, the nervous system often benefits from gentle, rhythmic, bilateral (side-to-side) input. This simple movement helps anchor your awareness back into your body, offering a quiet sense of containment without demanding difficult feelings to surface.
Step 1: Find a Comfortable Position
Sit upright with your feet resting flat on the floor, or stand comfortably if you prefer.
Let your shoulders drop away from your ears, and allow your jaw to soften.
Step 2: Cross Your Hands Over Your Chest
Bring your hands up toward your chest and cross your arms over your heart, so that your right hand rests on your left upper arm or shoulder, and your left hand rests on your right upper arm or shoulder.
Your fingertips will naturally point toward your neck or collarbone, resembling the soft wings of a butterfly resting against your chest.
Step 3: Begin Alternate, Gentle Tapping
Alternating sides, begin to tap your hands or fingers softly against your shoulders or upper arms—left, then right, then left, then right.
Keep the pace slow, steady, and very gentle, like the slow beating of a butterfly’s wings. Think of it as a quiet, reassuring rhythm.
Step 4: Pair with the Breath
As you continue the slow, alternating taps, let your breathing find an easy, natural rhythm.
You don’t need to force deep breaths. Just notice the air moving gently in and out, and let each tap remind you that you are right here in the present moment.
Step 5: Pause, Rest, and Repeat (2 to 3 Cycles)
Continue tapping for about 20 to 30 seconds.
Lower your hands back down to your lap or sides, take a quiet breath, and notice any subtle shifts—such as a spontaneous sigh, a deeper breath, or a slight softening in your chest.
When you feel ready, bring your hands back to your shoulders and repeat this gentle cycle 2 to 3 times total.
Note: You are always in control. If tapping feels too fast or distracting at any point, you can simply stop, rest your hands still against your chest, and just breathe.
It’s good to even start thinking about somatic work in estrangement. You may need to think about these exercises for awhile before you try them. My hope is that one day you try one, and you are glad you did.
Please let me know if you tried this exercise, and what you thought.
Best,
Kathy
You can contact me through the Chat, the Comments, or email me: ksinsheimermft@gmail.com
This is the 9th in Dear Estranged’s Somatic Exercise Series
Great suggestion