I know how this feels, I too feel I have been discarded. But I watched family members basically pretending their mother was dead rather deal with their difficult relationship and I noticed, they really didnt have malice in their hearts towards the parent they have rejected. They are drowning in the expectations of being a perfect parent, protecting their child from everything remotely negative or troubling and barely keeping up with laundry, working, meals and demands of a young family. Most of the time, thoughts of their discarded parent weren't even there and when they were it was with loss - for them it is a death, a choosen sacrifice, they "killed" their parent in order to focus every effort on their day, today only, because that's literally all they were capable of.
It didnt feel good to watch this.
Pain delayed is still pain, eventually their forceful child will know, not only did their parents lie about the grandmother being alive, they purposely kept the child from knowing their grandmother's love. 💔
Pain delayed gets you eventually, your mother or father is fundamentally part of who and how you are.
Many of my questions about why I am the way I am came from asking questions of my mother and father. I came to see them this way as flawed adult children themselves, people who were also just coping from day to day, doing their best with ultimately no idea how to be a good parent. With this knowledge, I see how remarkable they really were.
So no, you weren't discarded, you were removed as an inconvenience, a difficult truth, a reminder of a painful childhood and don't belong in the trash.
I have committed to 2 things:
Self improvement (not new at all, just a continuation)
Enjoying myself and my life as much as possible 😌
The people who choose to live without me will eventually have whatever it is they are avoiding thrust into their faces and perhaps its best if I'm not there to blame when it happens.
Thank you for sharing about talking with your parents to better understand yourself. We can’t help but learn from our parents in multiple ways. We learn how to be strong or smart but also harsh or unkind to ourselves— many ways to perceive ourselves with many strengths and weaknesses.
I’m glad to hear that you are finding ways to enjoy your life. Doing so is not without its challenges. Knowing/seeing yourself is an important step toward finding the joy you are looking for.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your journey.
I know how this feels, I too feel I have been discarded. But I watched family members basically pretending their mother was dead rather deal with their difficult relationship and I noticed, they really didnt have malice in their hearts towards the parent they have rejected. They are drowning in the expectations of being a perfect parent, protecting their child from everything remotely negative or troubling and barely keeping up with laundry, working, meals and demands of a young family. Most of the time, thoughts of their discarded parent weren't even there and when they were it was with loss - for them it is a death, a choosen sacrifice, they "killed" their parent in order to focus every effort on their day, today only, because that's literally all they were capable of.
It didnt feel good to watch this.
Pain delayed is still pain, eventually their forceful child will know, not only did their parents lie about the grandmother being alive, they purposely kept the child from knowing their grandmother's love. 💔
Pain delayed gets you eventually, your mother or father is fundamentally part of who and how you are.
Many of my questions about why I am the way I am came from asking questions of my mother and father. I came to see them this way as flawed adult children themselves, people who were also just coping from day to day, doing their best with ultimately no idea how to be a good parent. With this knowledge, I see how remarkable they really were.
So no, you weren't discarded, you were removed as an inconvenience, a difficult truth, a reminder of a painful childhood and don't belong in the trash.
I have committed to 2 things:
Self improvement (not new at all, just a continuation)
Enjoying myself and my life as much as possible 😌
The people who choose to live without me will eventually have whatever it is they are avoiding thrust into their faces and perhaps its best if I'm not there to blame when it happens.
Thank you for sharing about talking with your parents to better understand yourself. We can’t help but learn from our parents in multiple ways. We learn how to be strong or smart but also harsh or unkind to ourselves— many ways to perceive ourselves with many strengths and weaknesses.
I’m glad to hear that you are finding ways to enjoy your life. Doing so is not without its challenges. Knowing/seeing yourself is an important step toward finding the joy you are looking for.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your journey.